Why not ourselves as well, right? Even challenging (or merely tedious) elements of aging may ease a bit when we moderate the anxiety, dismay, or hostility they trigger. For some, such a stance also seems to foster depth, complexity, and mellowness over time—qualities often found in certain wines, as well. ;-)
Moreover, those traits may promote a lighter and warmer approach toward life in general than might otherwise ensue. And how cool is that, given the stuff we often have to deal with as we age...possibly including our own mirrors sometime flipping us off.
[Please understand that the remarks here are not directed toward people living in war zones or under other threats. "Mellow" probably doesn't thrive under circumstances such as those.]
So, how do those of us in a position to do so "morph" into a mellower experience of aging? No doubt in myriad ways, although purpose (which may include helping others), exploration, adventure, and just plain fun seem to advance the cause for many.
But those puppies, especially adventure and fun, may also wander off now and then during these years. Sometimes only temporarily and/or only to a minor degree, or maybe they leave us feeling trapped in a (losing) poker game with the Fates. Then what do we do, we may wonder while chewing our nails or perhaps cursing "colorfully."
Facing tedious and/or challenging times yourself? Perhaps you'd find it useful to talk things over with someone who genuinely understands how to listen: a particular friend or family member, for example, or a therapist, clergyperson, coach, etc.
Another possibility? Sometimes people find that tweaking their lives in even very simple ways helps restore some of their joie de vivre. Perhaps you'd be one of those people. Or, maybe you could begin sorting out one or two more-serious things affecting your life, if any are so doing and if the "sorting" seems feasible under the present circumstances.
And here's something else to consider: pursuing a strongly held wish or goal, a personal "path" (or even a "hill") awaiting your metaphorical boots. Any of the following, for example, might be useful steps in walking that path:
* Getting very, very clear about what YOU genuinely want for yourself, or perhaps really need to do
* Laying out a plausible course of action to attain or accomplish those things
* Taking a single step toward the goal(s), and then moving ahead at a pace that works for You
* Doing your best to stay out of the Boxes as you go
Alas, yes. In a nutshell, those would be attitudes, beliefs, habits, etc., that hinder our progress and/or lessen our enjoyment of life. Although they can do this at any age, such "boxes" seem to lean in quite a bit during our later years.
For example, the don't-get-old box often involves put-downish counsel such as this: *Ten things no woman should do/wear after 50/60/70, etc. *Seven make-up blunders women make as they age. *Staying sexually attractive after 65: How realistic is it? *Eight things you may be doing that make you seem Old...
Really? Like, we now need Rules concerning the way we present ourselves and/or what we choose to be, do, or have? At this point, who could possibly be better qualified than we to judge the fitness of our own behavior? Easy answer (IMHO).
Another treacherous box? Try procrastination, the do-it-later box, which lives to deflect us from pursuing the things we want. It can also block us from those things we may really, really need to take care of and possibly feel guilty about not having done previously. (Raising my hand here.)
When allowed, as dampening to the spirit can be the not-enough box, the maybe-losing-it box (yuuge!), the too-late/old boxes, the don't/can't/shouldn't do it boxes, the maybe I'll need/want this later (clutter) box—to
name but a few of the usual suspects.
Click on any live link below for discussions about managing these and other impediments to the laid-back, jolly, and fulfilling autumn years you're now enjoying or may wish to create/maintain for yourself.
Whether or not the box analogy works for you doesn't matter. The behavioral and thought patterns such "boxes" represent, however, may hinder you unnecessarily and perhaps also more than you realize. But if you stay alert, you can often blow right past those draggers—whether step by step or in leaps that might startle even you.
Something else to consider is that today's world sorely(!) needs your experience, wisdom, and good humor. Although you don't "owe" us those, what a gift such qualities can be...if you continue to share them.
In whatever ways you do proceed, please remember to include some fun and other good stuff for Yourself. Deal? And may the "Force" be with you as you go!!
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