Mellower Aging...Let's Do This! 

Yes, I'm totally serious. Although some of us may find our "aging years" waaay gloomier than we'd anticipated, we can often change that somewhat...if we so choose. One way? By further unleashing our mellower impulses. And again, yes! Considering the way mellowness so often enhances wines, couldn't the human version (warmth, humor, respect toward others, helpfulness, etc.) burnish our own maturation? Given that such mellowness seems characteristic of many whose lives appear genuinely enjoyable...or at least bearable.

For some of us, though, such "enjoyable" lives may feel increasingly elusive. If that's the case for you, perhaps you might also examine your general approach to the here-and-now. [More coming soon.] Another possibility? Seriously consider any mission/purpose that may be poking at you...and/or perhaps tackle a goal or dream. In fact, these and other candidates could be waving flags wildly at this very moment.

And something else: Do you think you might you be missing some of the exploration, adventure, and Flat-Out Fun you once enjoyed? Because those puppies do seem to tip-toe off when we're particularly busy, stressed, bored, etc., monitoring (and even occasional specific action) may help us keep them closer or reel them back when they do stray. [See next section.]

"Specific Action" to Consider...

Now and then, some of us might find it helpful to talk with people who actually know how to listen. For example, conversations with a sensitive friend/family member, or a therapist, clergy person, coach, etc., can sometimes yield remarkable (and perhaps unexpected) benefits.

Another possibility? Life-tweaks, which could include even very simple adjustments
to enhance and/or lure back joie de vivre or perhaps to ease a troubling issue. A single step, even just one, can often start the ball rolling, whatever the nature/scope of the "tweak" you're undertaking.

Here's another: Could you be harboring a
long-held wish or goala personal path (or hill) awaiting your metaphorical boots? If yes, perhaps you and those boots might decide to embark upon one or more of the following:

* Getting verrry clear about what YOU genuinely want for yourself or really, really need to do
* Laying out a course of action (perhaps focused upon small steps)  
* Taking a single step toward the goal(s), and then moving ahead and hanging in(!)
* Staying out of the dreaded Boxes as you work your way forward

   Boxes???  

Alas, yes. In a nutshell, those would be any attitudes, beliefs, habits, etc., that somehow hinder our progress and/or lessen our enjoyment of life. Such "boxes" may now and then lean in quite harshly during our autumn (i.e., aging) years.

For example, the don't-get-old box can sometimes assault midlife and senior folk in verrry tedious ways. Another candidate for rotten eggs? Procrastination, the do-it-later box, which can deflect us from pursuing things we want or maybe even Really need to do...and that we perhaps also feel guilty about not having dealt with before now. (Guess how I know that.)

Equally dampening to the spirit can be the maybe-losing-it box, the too-late/old boxes, the don't/can't/shouldn't do it (the DDIs) boxes, and the maybe I'll need/want this later (clutter) boxto name but a few of the "usual suspects."

           Click on any live link below for discussions of these and other bandits.

                                Acing the Aging Gig

Whether the box analogy itself works for you doesn't matter (IMHO). The behavioral and thought patterns such "boxes" could represent, however, might sometimes hinder you unnecessarily and possibly also more than you realize. Plus, they can sure trash mellow.

Something else to consider while we're theorizing: the many, many ways our world benefits when you share your wisdom, good humor, and experience. Do you, or the rest of us, actually owe those qualities to the world? Who knows, really. But think what a gift they can be when applied generously and widely. 

And as those "gifts" lighten and/or brighten the lives of others in various ways, our own may do so as well—speaking of great double-wins. So, perhaps we might go after those wins more often ourselves?? Jolly Cat and I vote yes, but your own vote is the one that rules for you...although maybe you'll decide to throw in with us. Ya think?   ;-)

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If you choose to explore this site, please understand three things: (a) I am neither therapist nor professional coach; (b) my focus here is primarily aging women; (c) my comments are not intended to disparage any women (or men) whose immediate choices may range from limited to nonexistent. To them (or anyone, really), I mean no offense with my remarks.

 
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