Okay, so the linkage of mellow with aging may seem rather optimistic, even implausible, to many women doing the Autumn Dance. I mean, look at the grim-and-grisly we sometimes have to deal with. But there's a genuine upside here as well, which would be the notable parallel between aging humans and developing wines.
And yes, I'm totally serious. Just think of the ways in which you've gained depth and complexity yourself as you've aged. Right? Those same qualities often foster a certain mellowness of outlook, in striking contrast to the bitching and moaning that sometimes take place in their absence (raising my hand here). If we choose, we might even use mellow as a proverbial "silver bullet" during the aging process...and how cool is that?
Ah, but it's one thing to appreciate the mellow state; we may find it quite another to achieve and/or maintain it. So, what might be some reasonable ways to do that?
Something I've noted myself is that the mellowness "morph" seems to benefit from plenty of exposure to purpose, exploration, and adventure, plus the critical ingredient: simple fun! Without those or other enhancements, our lives may feel decidedly Un-mellow at times...like when the Grand Adventure seems far more like cut-throat poker with the Fates. [Been there, done that, didn't like it.]
Caught in such a game yourself? If yes, perhaps first ask yourself how you could bring more satisfaction and fun into your life. And listen carefully to your answers. Also, you might start taking steps toward at least one destination still beckoning you, one of those "hills" hoping to feel your metaphorical boots. Because if not now, when? If not you, who?
Even if circumstances constrain you at this moment, why not give some serious thought to the following actions:
* Getting as clear as possible about what YOU genuinely want, or perhaps need, to accomplish
* Laying out a plausible course of action, if you want to tweak your circumstances a bit
* Taking a single step toward the goal(s), and then moving on at a pace that works for You
* Doing your best to stay out of the Boxes
Alas, yes. In a nutshell, those would be attitudes, beliefs, habits, etc., that hinder our progress and/or lessen our enjoyment of life. Although they can do this at any age, such "boxes" tend to lean in during our later years. For example, the don't-get-old box thrives on such counsel as this: *Ten things no woman should do/wear after 50/60/70. *Seven make-up blunders women make as they age. *Staying sexually attractive after 65: How realistic is it? *Looking old can sometimes be bad for your health. *Five ways not to look like a scary hag during your later years...
Sure, with the last one I'm just horsing around, but missives (or missiles!) like these are all over the place. Even when offered in a helpful spirit, such material reinforces and may even promote the message that we become less-valued members of society as the years pass. (In case we hadn't noticed that ourselves, right?) Do we really need those downers when we're trying to have a good time and/or get things done? I don't think so.
Instead, why not trash rigid and ageist rules concerning wearing apparel, or hair styles and makeup, or what some consider "appropriate" for women of our years to be, do, or have? As grownups, we are more than capable of making our own choices, creating our own style (among other things), and having a blast besides.
Another treacherous box? Try procrastination, the do-it-later box. This one we'd all be wise to steer clear of, for it is The Box from Hell. Plus, the more years we accumulate, the more potentially destructive it becomes, if we allow it to deflect us from the things we want or from those things we may really, really need to take care of (and possibly feel guilty about not having done so previously).
When allowed, as dampening to the spirit can be the not-enough box, the maybe-losing-it box (yuuge!), the too-late/old boxes, the don't/can't/shouldn't do it boxes, the maybe I'll need/want this later (clutter) box—to
name but a few of the usual suspects.
Click on any live link below for discussions about managing these and other impediments to the laid-back, jolly, and fulfilling autumn years you're now enjoying or may wish to create/maintain for yourself:
Whether or not the box analogy works for you doesn't matter. The behavioral and thought patterns such "boxes" represent, however, could hinder you unnecessarily and perhaps also more than you realize. But if you stay alert, you can often blow right past those draggers—freeing yourself to make the days and years at your disposal both mellow and productive, whether step by step or in leaps that might startle even you.
In the Game of Life, I believe we generally fare waaay better when we go for the gusto. Plus, the world needs our experience, wisdom, and humor now more than ever...so why hang back? Instead, help us all by hanging In with your best game and getting some serious jollies while you do it. (And my money's on you, kid!)
PS: If your particular "game" involves something you want or need to do,
even a single step counts. Maybe take one today?