The First Step: Sometimes a hard one to take

"First Step Blues": do you get those now and then? Like, there you are with this terrific goal, one you are So ready to go after. But even though this goal feels both bold and exciting, you find yourself spinning your wheels instead.

Maybe you tidy your desk, for example, or purge a drawer or two and the pantry besides. This would be after you write to your kids and all of your siblings and cousins...and also groom the pets and wash the car.

Those outcomes are the good news. The bad news is that, as you beaver away at such tasks, your true goal hovers off in the distance. Although maybe still reachable, it's also no closer than before. Why can't you get started? Why can't you take the first step? It's driving you nuts, being stuck like this. For one thing, perhaps you're more concerned about the passage of time than you may once have been.

Are DDIs barring you from your first step?

Say hello to the don’t-do-its (DDIs), which often take the form of "songs" our egos sing when we have a bold but perhaps somewhat scary idea. Or the grudging song an associate might sing about the same idea: “don’t bite off more than you can chew.” Even those who love us may sometimes sing such songs when trying to protect us.

If you don't watch it, though, these and other DDIs could keep you hovering endlessly at the starting line. They might, for example, sound something like this...Don’t go back to school: by the time you finish, you'll be Old. Don’t waste your time inventing things: you’ll only get ripped off anyway. Don’t take tap-dancing lessons: have you any idea how many Boomers break ankles/legs doing that? Don’t take risks: you’ll just fall on your face. And maybe the speakers can't imagine taking significant risks themselves.

  Serious Consequences

Even when well intentioned, which some may not actually be, DDIs are generally just another form of Head-Trash. We can say the same for their siblings, CDI (can’t do it) and SDI (shouldn’t do it). SDIs from religious figures/groups can be particularly powerful and dampening for some, as can those from family members and/or friends—and even ourselves. So, stay alert if that's not the way you want to live your life.

In fact, it's good to get (and stay) very clear about who's going to be the "decider" with regard to your own life. If that's going to be you, how much time will you have for the terrible trio? Possibly not much, right? The only person with the authority to Don't, Can't, or Should you is you...unless you cede that authority to someone else. Particularly at this stage of your life, "should" you be doing that?

Sure, some things you try probably won't pan out the way you expect: well, boo-hoo, right? Besides, what looks like failure right now might with some tinkering morph into something even better than your original quest.

But fear of any failure (or embarrassment) whatever can keep you from taking even a single step toward something cool—although perhaps also challenging or scary. By playing it safe, though, you'll generally have to settle for less than you really want…although (possibly) as much as someone else wants you to have and also way less than you’re capable of.

Do you really want to do that?
Why not take the plunge instead, even if you belly-flop or fall on your face now and then. Go ahead and "make a fool of yourself" in the eyes of those perhaps less imaginative, less industrious, or less courageous than yourself. Just do it, my friend. Take the first step, large or small, toward the claps and cheers or those quiet moments of great satisfaction...and then just keep going. If you don't, you're the one who loses. Plus, it just ain't the real you, is it?

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