do you get those now and then yourself? Like, there you are with this terrific
goal, one you are So ready to go after. But even though this goal
feels both bold and exciting, you find yourself spinning your wheels
Maybe you tidy your desk, for example, or purge a drawer or two and then the pantry besides. This would be after you write to your kids, plus all of your siblings and cousins...and also groom the pets and wash the car(s).
Those outcomes are the good news. The bad news is that, as you beaver away at such tasks, your true goal hovers off in the distance. Although maybe still reachable, it's also no closer than before. Plus, being stuck like this is driving you nuts; for one thing, perhaps you're more concerned about the passage of time than you may once have been.
Say hello to the don’t-do-its (DDIs), which often take the form of messages our egos whisper when we have a bold but perhaps somewhat scary idea. Or the remarks of
a grudging associate: “don’t bite off more than
you can chew,” etc. Even those who love us may sometimes pass along such messages when
trying to protect us.
If you don't watch it, though, these and other DDIs could keep you hovering endlessly at the starting line. They might, for example, sound something like this...
go back to school; by the time you finish, you'll be Old.
*Don’t waste your time inventing things; you’ll just get ripped off anyway.
*Don’t take tap-dancing lessons; people your age break ankles/legs doing that!
*Don’t take risks; you’ll fall on your face/make a fool of yourself.
well intentioned, which not all may be, DDIs are generally just
another form of head-trash. We can say the same for their siblings, CDI (can’t do it)
and SDI (shouldn’t do it). SDIs from religious figures/groups can be
particularly powerful and dampening for some, as can those from
family members and/or friends—and even ourselves. So, stay alert if that's not the way you want to live your life.
In fact, it's good to
get (and stay) very clear about who's the "decider" with regard
to your own life. If that's going to be you, how much time will you have for the Terrible Trio?
Possibly not much, right? For the only person with genuine authority to Don't, Can't, or Shouldn't you is yourself...unless you cede that authority to someone else. Particularly at this stage of your life, "should" you be doing that?
Sure, some things you try may not pan out the way you expect. Well boo-hoo, right? Besides, what looks like failure right now might with some tinkering morph into something even better than your original quest.
But fear of any failure (or embarrassment) whatever can keep you from taking even the first step toward something cool—although perhaps also challenging or scary. By playing it safe, though, you'll generally have to settle for less than you really want…although (possibly) as much as someone else wants you to have and also way less than you’re capable of.
As you consider the question, perhaps ask yourself this: If you belly-flop now and then, so what? Why should the views of others hold You back from a genuine goal or quest? What if, instead, you take the first step(s) toward the claps and cheers or those quiet moments of great satisfaction...and then just keep going. Because who "wins" when you don't hold the reins yourself? Plus, it just ain't the real you, is it?